Trusting God’s Plan Despite My Fear
By Katlyn Carney, CBM National Intern –
When I was in 4th grade, I went to Camp Gilead’s “Fun-O-Mania” for a little weekend getaway. This was my first time away from home for more than a day, without family, so I was ecstatic and could not wait to go! When I got there, my emotions did a 180…I was terrified! After the weekend was over, I begged my parents never to send me to camp again, and they didn’t. Nothing bad happened, it just was not for me. I did not know anybody, and everyone else knew each other, so I was pretty much alone the whole weekend. I had many opportunities to go back while my dad was speaking there, but just the thought of going made me sick to my stomach.
Fast forward to the summer of 2012—I reluctantly decided to be a kitchen worker. I loved serving and this was a way to do it. The only problem: I was at Camp Gilead (the place I vowed never to go back to) and it was for two weeks! So, I put my big girl pants on, relied on God to get me through, and He did! I loved it, made many great friends, met many wonderful, God-honoring men and women, and found a second home. For the next four years, I looked forward to going to camp and, every summer, God grew me out of my shell more and more. I eventually became a senior counselor—somebody who, in 2012, I thought I would never be.
After taking a summer off so I could take some college classes, I felt God calling me back to Camp Gilead the summer of 2018. I quit a well-paying job, packed my stuff, and headed to camp to be a counselor again. This summer was life-changing. I felt called into full-time ministry but did not know where to begin. I was supposed to be going back to school in August, but I had an amazing opportunity to do this National Internship with Children’s Bible Ministries (CBM). My biggest fear was leaving home and my family for a long time. I also feared not having a plan and not being ready, spiritually, to do the program, so I kept putting it off. I wanted to go to school to study agriculture; I thought I had a perfect plan already laid out. However, that was what I wanted, not what God wanted. Eventually, God showed me clearly opened and closed doors. I understood that, if I trust God and I am doing His will, then He will equip me for everything and I have nothing to worry about. God has taken my fear of leaving home and my family and given me a beautiful home in the Smoky Mountains and a wonderful CBM family who, most of them, I knew from working at Camp Gilead. I took a step of faith, and now here I am, a month in, and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that this is exactly where God wants me!
How can God use you and your talents to further His kingdom?
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